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Breaking Report: Disgraced Jedi Obi-Wan Kenobi is a Democrat. His way out and wacky "certain point of view" morality only being matched by his treasonous opposition to the Empire.
Not only that, but we've received reports that he's been associating with a young boy named "Luke" for over a decade. When found staring at the boy through a pair of electrobinoculars across a crowded marketplace, he claimed he was "protecting him from the Empire" - *cough* yeah, suuuuuure.
Protection? Or sick, twisted, and Untatooinian obsession? We report, you decide.
More news at 11.
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