Darth Morte
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Vander and Kenobi's Adventure'sChapter 1: The Beginning
Kenobi came to Vander and said "Apprentice we are needed at the front lines immediately!" Vander was happy that his first battle was with his Master. Vander said!""Alright, and where is it at and how do we get there Master?" Kenobi with shock answered "My Young Apprentice you will be briefed on the mission when we get to the ship." Vander was sad that he did not get briefed sooner. Vander reported to the ship to find his Master waiting for him. Kenobi quickly went into briefing. "Alright listen up everybody our spies have located a Sith Manufacturing Facility on the planet Dantooine. Our spies also have located some Ancient Holocrons that must be retreived at all costs." Vander was amazed at how much his Master knew already. Kenobi then stated "I myself will be leading this raid and my Young Apprentice Vander will be commanding Brigade's 1 through 4."Kenobi forgot that the Colonel next to him was leading Brigade's 11 through 14 so then stated "And also I would like to welcome Colonel Amara to the force and he will be leading Brigade's 11 through 14." A huge aplause was then made after Kenobi's announcement. Colonel Amara was immediately shocked when he got word of another transmission from his spies on Dantooine. "Thank you all for the warm welcome but now we have to get down to buisness."The Colonel said after being informed. "Indeed we do." Kenobi said.
Colonel Amara then said "We have an incoming transmission from our spies." "Sir we have now located an underground bunker that we believe holds there troops and supplies."When Kenobi said "Any Questions?" Vander quickly stammered and said "Why am I commanding Brigade's 1 through 4? I've never commanded anything in my life!" Kenobi was anxious to tell his young apprentice but sensed that the time was not yet right. "Vander all will be said in good time." Kenobi said with a calm and smooth voice. Vander did not want to anger his Master so he quickly said "Alright were is my troops?" Kenobi said "Wait till the briefing is over." Vander sat back down with a thump and began to listen. Alright, Brigade's 5 through 10 will come with me and destroy the Sith Manufacturing Facility, While Brigade's 1 through 4 led by Vander will destroy the surrounding perimeters and take out the Anti-Air and Anti-Tank Field. Brigade's 11 through 14 will land after the Anti-Air and Anti-Tank field is destroyed and will support my landing force." Vander stood up and said "Good Luck everybody and May The Force Be With You!"
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Darth Morte
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Chapter 2: Colonel Bana
Vander was told to report to hanger A11569.When Vander reported to his designated area of the Hanger he soon found a couple of Clone's standing around a Republic Gunship talking. Vander is meeted by Colonel Bana and 2 bodyguards. Colonel Bana says "Sir all ships are fueled and ready to begin our assault." Vander said "Good, now lets get to the ship." Colonel Bana went into a state of confusion and said "Sir what ship?" Vander turned around and said "The ship we are taking to the surface!"
The Colonel started to laugh and said "Sir sorry about that I see that you are new to commanding but we are not taking ships to the surface because the heavy Anti-Air will take us out before we even get through the atmosphere!" Vander thought for a moment and said "Then what are we taking?" Colonel Bana then pointed to a spot outside the hanger and said "Over there!" Vander looked in the direction given to him by the Colonel and quickly jumped back at the site he was seeing. He saw 4 Acclamator Ships in a little spot around the Main Ship. Colonel Bana started to laugh again and said "This Sir is Brigade's 1 through 4, we are ready to embark on your command."
Vander then said "Alright are you the one incharge of these Brigade's?" Colonel Bana looked puzzled and said "No i'm incharge of Brigade's 1 and 2. The other Brigade's are led by the General." Vander said "OK" and left to tell Kenobi that they were on there way to do there objectives. When Kenobi finished talking to Vander he went and took control of his Fleet which was on the opposite side of the Main Ship. Vander went back to Colonel Bana and said "Alright lets move out!" Colonel Bana told the men he was with and told them to get the Republic Gunship ready to disembark back to there fleet. Colonel Bana caught up to Vander and said "Sir we must leave immediately! We are approaching the planet's surface." Vander went with Colonel Bana and got into the Republic Gunship and took off out into the direction of the fleet.
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Darth Morte
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Chapter 3: Meeting General Balta
As Vander was approaching one of the Assault ships he noticed some fighters flying out of the hanger that were headed for the planet. Vander saw that they had a welcoming committee waiting for them. When Vander stepped off the Republic Gunship he noticed somebody walking towards him from the entrance to the upperdeck. The clone was walking faster and faster at Vander and when the clone finally reached him he saw that it was the General! The General quickly said with excitment "Sir it is a pleasure to finally meet you!"Vander quickly said “pleased to meet you to General." General Balta then said "Alright we are need in the Upperdeck immediately Kenobi wants a word with you." Vander and the General walked through the door that leads to the Upperdeck area of the ship and on the way Vander noticed Gunship after Gunship landing in the hanger. When they finally reached the Upperdeck he saw Kenobi on the Holo-Projector.
Kenobi saw Vander and said “Vander I see that you have met the General." Vander replied with "Yes and I'm starting to feel at home here." Kenobi then said "The General has served for the Republic a very long time. I remember when I was a young apprentice like yourself with my former Master Vikro. Vikro was a great and powerful Jedi who will always be remembered as a hero." Vander quickly said "Master what happened to him?" Kenobi with some thought said "Not now you can ask at a more reasonable time." Vander was anxious for his Master to tell him but knew he would not until the time was right. The General then said " Yes Vikro was a powerful one alright I remember when I served under him during a mission long ago, he was very smart and cunning in battle." Vander was amazed and wanted to know more about Kenobi's former Master but knew he would have to wait because they were almost at Dantooine's Atmosphere.
Vander said "Master you will have to excuse me I have to get ready to approach the surface of the planet." Kenobi was surprised at what Vander said and wondered if he will do fine. Kenobi with uneasiness said "Be carefull and May The Force Be With You my young apprentice!" Vander turned around and said "See you on the planets surface!" After that the Holo-projector cut off and Vander walked out of the room. Upon reaching the hanger he saw thousands of clone's lined up in single file waiting to land. To the left he saw AT-XT's, Republic Speeders, AT-RT's, AT-TE's and many more vehicles piled up. To the right he could see a mass of V-Wings, Republic Starfighters, ARC-200's and many other space vehicles.
Vander boarded one of the Republic Gunships and took off from the hanger with thousands of other Gunships and vehicles and headed for the Planets surface with the Acclamator ships trailing behind. The entrance to the planets surface was a fierce and deadly one. The Anti-Air were tearing up the Republic Gunships before they even landed. Vander thought to himself "Hmm how could I stop them from firing at us?" Vander thought for a moment until his Gunship was hit and was trailing a ball of smoke and fire!! Vander and some of the men inside the Gunship braced for impact and landed safely.Inside the Gunship Vander awoke to find himself still inside the Gunship! Vander pulled out all of the men he could get to inside the mass of burning debris.The men that Vander pulled out soon awoke to find themselves on the ground with Vander behind them caring for the wounds of the other soldiers. Vander heared a loud roar and looked up and saw hundreds of Republic Gunships Blaze across the Sky like fierce lightning and falling behind it the Acclamator Assault Ships piercing the dense thick clouds like a knife through butter. The clone's that were not badly injured got to there feet and said "Thank You we never would have made it out of there alive if it wasn't for you."Vander was still tieing up some bandages around some wounds when he finally said "No problem i'm glad that I could help."
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Xander Vos
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Do I comment here? Its good, but you don't need to do anything special for speech, just the " ".
Also, go for more description, and start a new paragraph whenever someone speaks. Try not to use a word to repetitively, like "sad" or "shocked" as you do.
Its a good start though, and has potential.
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Darth Morte
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Thank you very much for your kind words and advice
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Xander Vos
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No problem.
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Darth Morte
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Chapter 4 coming soon.
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Sephiroth
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Well, it's good. But you might wanna make it a little longer, and more detailed. Otherwise good.
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Darth Morte
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i'll keep that in mind
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Darth Morte
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Chapter 4: Anti-Air
Vander knew that Dantooine would fall into the Jedi's control so his first task was to take out the Anti-Air. Vander was thinking and knew that he did not have much time before the air forces were utterly anihilated. Vander saw a couple of stray Gunships land not far from where Vander was standing. Vander ran over to them and the first person he met was Captain Damara. Captain Damara saw Vander running towards him and said "Hey are you General Vander?" Vander nodded and said "Yes I am and who are you?" Captain Damara said "We are your support!" Vander said "About time I thought you guys would never get here." "Captain Damara do you know what our first objective is?" Captain Damara shook his head and said "No." Vander then briefed the Captain on the mission objectives and quickly set out to complete their tasks. As Vander and Captain Damara were walking the Clone's behind them yelled "Sir we have found an entrance that probably leads to the Anti-Air guns!" Vander turned around and saw some Clone's rush to the door.
When the Clone's got to the door they found out that it was unlocked. The Clone's bulldozed through the door and shots rang out like church bells. When inside they found some fuel valves and took advantage of them and turned them on. The Clone's then planted some C-4 and set the timer to one minute. Some Clone's came running outside yelling "TAKE COVER IT'S GONNA BLOW!!!" Vander rushed to the nearest cover and watched in fascination the First of many Anti-Air Guns go up in a blaze of destruction. Vander, Captain Damara and the Clone's continued on their mission to destroy all the Anti-Air weaponry. As Vander, Damara and the Clone's were walking very carefully some droids popped out of a near foxhole and started to fire upon them. Vander yelled "OPEN FIRE!" and the Clone's obliterated the droids to hunks of junk. Vander ordered some Clone's to check out the foxhole and the Clone's dropped some Concussion Grenades in the hole and heard some explosions. Vander said "Woah that didn't sound like droids!" the Clone's dropped in the foxhole and started to open fire and some more explosions were heard. Vander saw the Clone's pull themselves from the hole and in horror as they were anihilated by a huge blast. The Clones' bodies were deposited by the blast a few feet from were Damara and Vander were. Damara at the sight of the gruesome bodies started to puke.
As Vander was sitting there looking at the dead Clone's he saw some grotesque gaps in their mangled disintigrated bodies. Vander ordered more Clone's to check out the foxhole but this time when the Clone's dropped down there was nothing left. The Clone's pulled themselves out of the foxhole and continued on their mission. Vander saw a door not far from where the foxhole was and took a couple of Clone's to investigate it.This time Vander kicked down the door and rushed in and ignited his Lightsaber and yelled "DIE!" Vander sliced and diced droids to the main valve and turned it on high and yelled "Someone get me a C-4!" A Clone rushed in and gave Vander some C-4 and Vander set the timer for one minute and both Vander and the Clone rushed out of there.
When Vander was out of the range of the explosive Vander turned around and watched as the second Anti-Air went up in smoke. A transmission came, in it was Kenobi!! He said he is on his way with more troops and needs all the Anti-Air destroyed by the time he gets there. Vander knew he did not have much time left so he sent a transmission to the Assault Ship saying that they need to land now! The Assault Ship sent back a message "Sir we cannot land at this time take out the last 2 Anti-Air or they will be destroyed." Vander grew impatient and said "Troops lets move out only 2 more Anti-Air to go and this crappy mud-pit is ours!" The Clone's cheered with glory and victory but it was cut short due to the Anti-Air they still needed to take out.
Vander and the Clone's continued on to find the last 2 Anti-Air. A transmission came in from the front lines it was Colonel Bana "Sir the front lines cant hold on much longer we need those Anti-Tank taken out now!" Vander said "Hold on Colonel the Anti-Air has still not been taken out and the Anti-Tank will not be taken out until the Anti-Air is taken out!" The Colonel said "Well you just hurry up then our men are dieing over here!" Vander turned his Communicater off and turned towards the next Anit-Air. The next Anti-Air was just a half-mile away and was heavly surrounded by droids. As Vander got closer he noticed that the droids were destroyer droids! Vander sent a message to the Main Ship and asked for a Strike Force near their position. A message was sent back saying "The V-Wings are on there way." Vander yelled to his troops "TAKE COVER!" As Vander said that the V-Wings came out of the dense thick clouds and dropped their payload on the destroyer droids. Vander told his men "On your feet."
The Clone's stood up and admist the debris the V-Wings also took out the Anti-Air! Vander started to cheer but was cut short when some droids on the Left Flank started to fire on them. The Clone's did not hesitate to wait for an order and opened fire on the droids. As the Clone's were busy destroying the droids Vander and Captain Damara hurried over to the next Anti-Air. The fourth Anti-Air was surrounded by a Shield!! Vander called one of the Acclamator Assault ships and ordered 2 Gunships one full of ARC troopers and the other with a sniper, Jet troopers and some Clone troopers. Vander and Captain Damara left and upon leaving discovered that the Clone's who they left fighting were still alive! Vander and the Captain both retrieved the Clone's and headed for the Drop-Off. Upon reaching the Drop-Off Vander discovered that the Gunships have already arrived. When Vander reached the Gunships the men he asked for climbed off the transport and went towards him.
Vander saluted the Pilots and ordered them to meet them at the last Anti-Air in one hour. Vander and his newely formed squad headed for the last Anti-Air. Upon reaching it the shield surrounding the perimeter was still up and running. Vander ordered the ARC troopers to take a position around the shield and wait for the explosion that would disable the Shield. Captain Damara stayed with the ARC troopers and said that he will help the ARC troopers. Vander spotted a small building to the right of the Shield and Vander and the Clone's headed for it. When Vander reached the building's door he discovered that it was surrounded by a EMP transmitter. Vander orderd the Jet troopers to fire their EMP emitter at the EMP transmitter. The transmitter was hit by two blasts from the Jet troopers emitter and the EMP transmitter blew up. Vander ordered a Clone trooper to use a C-4 on the heavy door. The Clone planted a C-4 on the door and set it to thirty seconds. The Clone started to run like hell back to Vander.
The door was disintegrated by the huge explosion. Vander ordered his men to run inside killing everything in sight. The Clone's rushed in and shots were immediately fired upon the Clone intruders. The Clone's threw a couple of Thermal Detonaters inside and heard the droids say "UH OH!" and a mass of debris came flying out of the building and Vander ordered the Clone's to rush in and destroy the Shield Generator. The Clone's bum-rushed the building and planted C-4's all over the Generator to make sure that it would be destroyed. Each Clone put the timer to forty-five seconds and ran like hell out of the doomed building. Vander and the Clone's were just in time because as soon as they got 200 feet away the building went up in a huge thick fire that the smoke rose to the Atmosphere. Vander saw the ARC troopers hit the building with a Barage of rockets and saw some droids some out of the side of the building and started to run for Captain Damara but it was too late the droids started to fire on the ARC troopers along with Captain Damara and lit them up like fireworks. Vander felt that it was his fault for the Captain's untimely death. The Clone's began to open fire on the droids. When the droids were destroyed Vander and the Clone's headed for the entrance to the last and final Anti-Air.
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Xander Vos
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This really is great.
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Darth Morte
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thank you very much
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Darth Morte
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Chapter 5: The Destruction of the last Anti-Air
When Vander and the Clone's reached the last and final Anti-Air the door blew open and in uncountable numbers unleasehed wave after wave of battle hardend droids. Vander saw this and yelled "TAKE COVER!"and the Clone's followed there orders and hid behind some nearby rocks. The droids were smart and left silently. Vander felt a disturbance and stood up and ordered a clone to throw a Thermal Detonator at those rocks. The Clone looked confused but did what he was ordered to do. When the Clone threw the Thermanl Detonator some droids got behind Vander and started to fire on them. The Thermal Detonator exploded and the Clone who threw it stood still in horror as wave after wave of more droids poured out of the uncovered entrance to the last Anti-Air.
Vander looked confused and ordered a Clone to investigate the other door. The Clone's saw this and threw out volley after volley of rapid fire to cover the Clone. When the Clone got to the door it blew open with a loud explosion and in Vander saw the Clone go flying in the air and the Clone landed hard and instantly died. Vander was fed up with all of his men dieing so he called in an Orbital Strike on the last Anti-Air. When Vander got word that the Orbital Strike ship needed coordinants he quickly ushered 4 Clone's to the Anti-Air but they were quickly mowed down with suppresive fire by the enemy. Vander curssed and with the Orbital Strike Beacon he ordered the Clone's to follow him and lay down heavy fire on the droids. As he was running towards the Anti-Air Vander heard his very loyal Clone's being ripped apart piece by piece as the droids were massing them in bullets.
Vander got to the Anti-Air but suffered heavy casualties as he was running. Vander placed the Beacon in the room containing the final Anti-Air and with the few Clone's that he had with him ran back out and ran like hell as the Orbital Strike ship poured its velocity of huge blasts on the Anti-Air destroying everything quickly instantly.
Vander awoke to find himself where the Anti-Air should have been but had turned into a big pile of debris and rubble. Vander received a transmission from Kenobi saying "Nice Job Vander you reduced the Anti-Air to mere scraps and debris." Vander sent a transmission back to Kenobi saying "Now all we ave to worry about is the Anti-Tank defenses around the Facility."
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Darth Morte
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Chapter 6: Anti-Tank Terror
PART I
Vander sent a transmission to one of the Assault Ships for a Gunship to rondevouz with him and his men closeby so they can quickly back to headquarters. When the Gunship landed Vander ordered his men to quickly get on so that they can leave immediately and get back to base fast. The Gunship landed and Vander hopped out and ran to the briefing room. Upon entering the briefing room Kenobi and the other leaders gazed at him in disbelief. Kenobi asked Vander "Where have you been?" Vander was surprised at him because Kenobi already knew where he was at. Vander answered "I've been out destroying the Anti-Air weapons so our ground forces could land!" Kenobi looked at Vander again with confusion but then quickly looked away to continue his briefing. "As I was saying, since Vander and his men took out the Anti-Air weapons our ground forces have all landed successfully..."Master Kenobi we need those Anti-Tank's taken out now or the Front Lines will be eliminated!" Kenobi was immediately discombobulated at the thought of who to send up there to destroy the Anti-Tank's. Kenobi's first thought was to send Vander but he has been through enough already so Kenobi decided to send Commander Enora who is fresh right out of school.
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