| Archive for Rebels A Star Wars Roleplaying Community |
| Sephiroth |
I'm so far gone.The tears poured down my face, my ugly, pathetic face. I stared at the mirror, my reflection staring back at me. He wasn't mocking me, how could he? Yet, I felt such rage and hate towards this person. This person whose life was absolute frakking poodoo. This person who desired to be something other than what he was. To be free of the chains that binded him. I lost it. I tackled the person in the mirror, his face startled, he never knew that I'd finally will myself to hurt him. I beat my reflections face till my hands were covered in blood and the tears stopped flowing. His nose was badly damaged, and that's when I got the idea. Pulling out my pocket knife that I'd purchased that same day, I began to cut his face. He screamed in agony, begging me to stop, I wouldn't. I cut him, again and again. I shaped his face to something other than my own, something that didn't live with the shame and the pain of what I'd experienced. Finally I was done, now noticing that cutting his face also cut mine. I was in too much of a rage to feel my own pain. There he was, my beautiful new face. The small, almost nonexistant, nose. The indent in my chin. The cheekbones that stuck out just a bit. As he rose, my little sanity that remained compelled me to laugh. I did. The face that I'd carved was the one I wanted. The person I wished to be. I had created the King of Pop. The man I admired most. My face was now his. I had destroyed that fragile boy who didn't deserve to suffer, and now carried the face of the most famous man alive. It was my goal, now realized. After that, the darkness never came again.My heart hurts so much. And these is a certain someone who won't help me because she is afraid. It hurts so much. I want to die so much guys. I've been in hell since I joined, I was just to damn stupid to admit it for so long. I hurt....I hurt. I cry all the time and stare at my walls. I've no interest in doing things anymore. I want to cut my throat. Let it all end so fast! Why am I always in pain? I sought help, and have gotten dirty looks and been told to frak off by numerous people. I'm getting help, but it's not enough. I'm breathing heavy, and my heart hurts, and it won't stop. No one knows what it's like. Just like the song. Behind my eyes, I feel and see so much pain. *Cries* Why is she so damn selfish? Why does my pain not matter over her own happiness? Why can't you see past your own two feet and help me? I miss you... |
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| Darth Samuel |
Someone Call the WAAAAAAAAAAAAAMBULANCE!!!!!
What about WHINE ONE ONE??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!!?!?! |
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| Devrin |
You're a giant ******, Sam, did you know that? You seriously need to shut your damn mouth. Quit being an apathetic douche. | ||
| Sirak Sazen |
Per Devrin. | ||
| Rive Caedo |
I'm inclined to agree. Just because you aren't sympathetic to someone's feelings doesn't mean you need to deliberately try to put them down.
Also: please don't deliberately circumvent the word censor, Devrin. |
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| Devrin |
I apologize, Rive. I was going to change it, but saw that you already did it for me. | ||
| Lord Invictus |
I'm almost cruel enough to make the comment, but not quite. That was inappropriate, Samuel, and I expect an apology to Sephiroth. --- I am, however, apathetic enough to agree that Sephiroth and Raina have been overly dramatic since their arrival. I'm sorry I have to say this, but it's what I've been thinking... Every other week there's been another thread by one of you about how difficult your lives are, and how depressing it is that you have to grapple with personal issues. It's sickening to have to deal with this every week and offer some sympathetic response to avoid karma suicide. Every time this happens I become more and more annoyed, and however many times I try to make a kind remark, to identify with you, etc. etc. I find it more and more difficult, and I become more and more apathetic. Until now, when I honestly don't even care any longer. --- I apologize for the rant... those were my thoughts on the issue, so I'll try to make up for it... If you need actual help with your problems, find a counselor, and get one of the very moderate, sensibly tempered members (I am not one of them) of the site to speak with you. Don't advertise your personal issues in general for dramatic appeal, and stop with poems so we can actually respond to you accurately. I'm tired of trying to care. I suppose I'm selfish... cruel even, but I apologize; I think this without choice. I simply have to voice this: contact Rive, Sirak, or another member to deal with your problems, and don't broadcast them to the world. |
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| Darth Splinter |
As tactless as that was, I have to say that I agree. I'm sorry, Sephiroth, but I don't want to hear it. Get real help instead of dumping your emotional backwash on us. |
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| Crozeus |
Haha everyone is seeing the dark side now. | ||
| Rive Caedo |
I'd might agree with this sentiment if this was offline and someone was "dumping emotional backwash" all over you to your face. But this isn't offline. To mangle old advice into a modern form: "Mama always said: 'If you don't have anything nice to say, hit the back the button on your browser'" |
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| Darth Splinter |
It was a necessary evil. | ||
| Dakoth |
Yeah seriously guys, why you ragin on him? | ||
| Adenn |
Well, I hate to say this, but it looks like you need some violent needs.
I'm not saying you should kill someone, but you should spill out your feelings by exerting assertive/aggressive behavior on something. Not saying you should bully people either... I suggest you join competitive "fighting", I don't know what to call it. MMA classes/tournaments, Judo classes, things like that. It should help you a little bit, because you're getting the poodoo beat out of you and you're beating the poodoo out of someone else. |
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| Sirak Sazen |
You would make a great therapist. | ||