So I stumbled upon this old word document with a bunch of altered Star Wars quotes. I thought I'd post some of them to see what you all think. I probably posted some of these back in the day. But meh. Sure hope this is the right section too. Even as an Admin, I'm always afraid of where to post things.
Oh and feel free to post your own quotes as well.
Obi-Wan: He's more packaged meat now than man; vacuum sealed and frozen.
Han Solo: Wait, I know that laugh...
Han Solo: SANTA!!!!
Jabba the Hutt: Ok, Han you got me, you can go.
Princess Leia: Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi; you're my only dope.
Han Solo: Damn fool, I knew you were going to say that.
Obi-Wan: Who's the more foolish: The fool, or the fool who follows him?
Han Solo: Whos the more fool then that? The fool who follows or the fool that follows the fool and the foolish
Obi-wan: And the more fool that that tries to make up another quote that makes him look less foolish, making him the fool
Han: you win this time...old man
Princess Leia: Darth Vader. Only you could be so italic.
Princess Leia: They let us go. It was the only reason for the ease of our escape.
Han Solo: Easy? You call that easy?
Princess Leia: They're tracking us.
Han Solo: Not this ship, sister.
Princess Leia: Well, at least the information in R2 is still intact.
Han Solo: What's so important? What's he carrying?
Princess Leia: My lunch? *pulls it out of R2, everyone is staring at her* What? This came all the way from the outer rim, it was completely worth it. Want some?
Darth Vader: If you only knew the power of Apple's iPod. Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your Rap mp3s.
Luke: He told me enough. He told me you illegally downloaded them.
Darth Vader: No. *I* syncronized them into mp4 files!
Luke: No. No. That's not true. That's impossible.
Darth Vader: Search your Zune. You know it to be true.
Luke: Nooooo. Nooooo.
Boba Fett: What if he doesn't survive? He's worth a lot to me.
Darth Vader: Sucks for you then.
Darth Vader: Now, release your brownies, only your cooking can destroy me!
Echo Base Officer: You'll freeze to death before you reach the first marker!
Han Solo: Then I'll see you in Hell!
Random Voice: Does anyone else see the irony in this?
Shmi Skywalker: There was no father. I carried him, I gave birth, I raised him. I can't explain what happened, even though I just did….
Anakin: Jedi business. Go back to your drinks
Random civilian: Thanks! That really lowered our curiosity.
Anakin Skywalker: Love can't save you. Only my new powers can.
Padme: Can your powers make you a better actor?
Anakin: No, nothing can fix that...
**These two were written with my friend Andrew, so they aren't really all mine. And 'Miller' was our high school principal. It was a guy so yeah. lol.**
It is a period of economic reform. Rebel teachers, striking from their classrooms, have won their first victory against the evil board of education. During the struggle, Rebel spies managed to steal secret plans to the Boards ultimate weapon, the small paycheck, a piece of paper with enough power to destroy a teacher’s hopes and dreams. Pursued by the Board's sinister agents, Princess Miller races home aboard her starship, custodian of the stolen documents that can save her coworkers and restore money to their bank accounts...
It is a period of national elections. Democrats, striking from Capitol Hill, have won their first victory against the evil Republican party. During the battle, left wing spies managed to steal secret plans to the Bush's ultimate weapon, the federal deficit, a deficit with enough power to screw the nation. Pursued by sinister right wing agents, Princess Hilary Clinton races home aboard her shaggin Wagon, custodian of the knowledge that can save the democrats from extinction and restore hippies to the galaxy ...
Obi-Wan: That's no Mp3 player. It's an iPod.
Obi-Wan: The Laugh is what gives a Comedian his power. It's an funny field created by all humorous things. It surrounds us and cracks us up. It binds the comedy club together.
Obi-Wan: I felt a great disturbance in the Laughs, as if millions of voices suddenly laughed out with joy and were suddenly silenced.
Butler_Swan
Oh, some of those were pretty good.
Rive Caedo
Re: (Hopefully) Funny Star Wars Quotes
SkywalkerAndVader wrote:
Obi-Wan: That's no Mp3 player. It's an iPod.
Han: "It's too big to be an iPod!"
Luke: "I have a very bad feeling about this."
SkywalkerAndVader
Lolololol. Awesome.
Sirak Sazen
From the movie Knocked Up.
Darth Vader: Luke, I am your stoner.
Rive Caedo
This randomly popped into my mind while walking along today. I'd be surprised if someone else hasn't already come up with the joke over the years.
Luke and Ben Kenobi pull up to the cantina after evading a group of stormtroopers via Kenobi's Jedi Mind Trick.
Luke: I can't understand how we got by those troops; I thought we were dead!
Kenobi: The Force can have a strong influence on the weak-minded.
Luke: The Force can have a strong influence on the weak-minded.
Kenobi: Yes, that's right.
Luke: Yes, that's right.
(Kenobi realizes Luke's eyes are glazed over)
Kenobi: ... Oh dear, I've wasted 19 years protecting an idiot.
Luke: Oh dear, you've wasted...
Butler_Swan
That was a good one Rive.
...
VOTE RIVE FOR FUNNIEST MEMBER!
Darth Splinter
Quote:
I'm sorry, but I do not speak extremely illiterate meow-meow.
Jiub
You don't have to like it, but just shut up and sound it out like everyone else.
Darth Splinter
The censor screws up everything! My sentence doesn't make sense anymore. I was talking about a pussycat, not a hoo hah.
Sirak Sazen
Stupid censor. Space you!
Rive Caedo
Darth Splinter wrote:
The censor screws up everything! My sentence doesn't make sense anymore. I was talking about a pussycat, not a hoo hah.
Fixed
Darth Splinter
Mmmm.... an improvement, I suppose.
Sirak Sazen
Wait, did he change anything?
Rive Caedo
Sirak Sazen wrote:
Wait, did he change anything?
I changed "wussy" (our censor equivalent to the word in question since it's usually used as an insult - not a colloquialism for a cat) to "meow-meow"
Sirak Sazen
Makes perfect sense....
Butler_Swan
It's Rive. Obey. Or Rive will smack you with his purple ban hammer.
Rive Caedo
Sirak Sazen wrote:
Makes perfect sense....
If you're referring to the word being censored at all: Maybe it is a bit unnecessary. But some of the other word censors have been highly useful in pre-moderating non-family friendly comments.
The situations when "nerfherder" has non-nonsensically replaced someone genuinely referring to a female dog or "wussy" when someone's referring to a cat have been far fewer.
If you're referring to my actual edit:
"Meow-Meow" doesn't make more sense to be referring to a cat than "wussy" (which doesn't make sense at all)?
Darth Splinter
Rive, you really need to lighten up the censors. Check the definition of PG-13.
Rive Caedo
The censor was expanded a bit during one of my absences. I'm not sure if I agree with all the changes.
Still, most of them are fairly logical. No matter what - personal attacks aren't allowed so that's what most of the censors are intended to pre-moderate.
Damn is about the harshest thing we allow - and has lots of uses outside of personal attacks. Although I usually self-censor myself to darn or dagnabit
Sirak Sazen
I'm referring to the fact that there's no difference!!!
Darth Splinter wrote:
The censor screws up everything! My sentence doesn't make sense anymore. I was talking about a pussycat, not a hoo hah.
Darth Splinter (edited) wrote:
The censor screws up everything! My sentence doesn't make sense anymore. I was talking about a pussycat, not a hoo hah.
Rive Caedo
I didn't edit that post! Lol.
Darth Splinter Original wrote:
Quote:
I'm sorry, but I do not speak extremely illiterate wussy.
Darth Splinter Deliberately Silly Rive Edit wrote:
Quote:
I'm sorry, but I do not speak extremely illiterate meow-meow.
Sirak Sazen
I'll be in my hole if you need me.
RainaRose
I love you guys.
Sirak Sazen
Random, yet caring. I'll take it.
I WUV U 2!
Darth Fectum
I lurve everyone.(Everybody stares at Fectum who starts blushing embarassedly.)
Crozeus
I love many people. However, since I haven't actually met any of you (although I have physically spoken to Sam, Emby and Dakoth) I will say that I COULD love you.
RainaRose
Aww Fectum I love you too!!! *hugz Fectum* You too Crozzie *pulls into the hug*
Crozeus
Nooo! *Clutches desperately at the air*
RainaRose
am going to meet all of you at some point when Leon and I get old enough to travel. I have confidence enough that I would gladly give my addrss to anyone on the fourm who asked so they could send me letters back and forth.
Crozeus
OR, we could use this forum thing and cut out the cost of sending letters overseas. In my case. Damn seas.
RainaRose
I don't mind is my point. Leon will kill anyone with Stalker intentions anyway so I'm not worried about that kind of thing at all.
Crozeus
I am! It's like 10$ a letter.
RainaRose
Seriously? o.O wow never mind. The fourm is good.
Darth Splinter
From RiffTrax:
Luke: Uncle Owen?
Uncle Owen: Yeah?
Luke:(commentary) Bite me!
RainaRose
XD I like that Splinter.
Darth Splinter
RainaRose wrote:
XD I like that Splinter.
Watch this! It's full of alternative quotes, including the one I posted!
