Burn Me

RainaRose · Burn Me

TRUE STORY

So for all of you who don't know, Leon's real name is Christopher and mine is Karea.

I had flip out last night and I know this is long but I did it. True story. I'm a freak, I know.

I snatched up my red lighter, a teal folder with words to read into dust, my heavy heart, and a single laid out goal. I set all of these things down together outside so the wind wouldn’t attempt to steal them away from me. My heart with all its loneliness made a wonderful paper weight. I began rounding up different sizes of logs, from little sticks to hefty monsters that I almost couldn’t carry. I piled them all up the best that I could, the littlest in the center with the largest on the out side. The pyramid shape that I created seemed more perfect than any other creation I had built so far. I admired my work once I was finished, hands covered in bits of bark and dirt.

The white lab standing not but a few feet away from me scrounged his face up, looking pitifully sad and beaten down. He looked the exact same way that I must have looked at that instant when building up my little pit. We were so alike and because of that a smile made its way to my lips as I made my way to pet the top of the dogs head. The smile may not have reached my eyes and I may not have been able to feel it but the false happiness was still there.

Sam barked gleefully as I pet his fur, strumming my fingers in the short white projections. I dropped the smile that I couldn’t feel, walking away from the dog. I disappeared into my house again, trying to hurry and not waist any time. If I dallied too long I would lose my nerve. I scrapped up some wadded up newspaper, a pink journal with a flower in the center of it, a dark green folder. I rushed out and dumped them with the things that I had already brought outside and raced back into the house to grab myself a hot cup of raspberry tea. I stumbled down the steps, trying not to spill the steaming liquid out of its hold. Same was following behind me as far as he could go before I herd the jerk as the chain pulled him back. He whined, wanting to follow me and watch my strange ritual.

I guessed it was around 6:30 when I stood above the wood drinking my raspberry tea, the sun was beginning to set below the horizon line. Normally on cloudy days like this one I was gloomy and restless because there was no rain. Rain was my safe home and on days that seemed as if it should rain I felt chaotic and out of place, like something important was missing. Yet on this cloudy day in March I was completely relaxed into the gloomy gray skies that loomed over the world of Norman. I hadn’t felt this relaxed on a cloudy rainless day since…welll….ever.

After everything I was still able to walk with my head held high, even if it hurt to do so. I did it the very best I could with what was left of me.

I pulled up close to my little home-made pyramid a lawn chair and sat down in it comfortably. It had I cup holder which I sat my glass cup of tea in. I crumpled up some of the newspaper and placed it in the center of the furnace I had created. I lit a part of it with the lighter I had brought out. Watching the paper catch fire and then having the wind blow it out was a little frustrating. It took me three tries of lighting the paper and having the wind blow out before I finally got the little fire growing. It didn’t take long for my fire to grow brightly and light up my face and the world around me. Little sparks shimmered from the core, rising to the sky to tell their mournful tale, before bursting into ash; never again to be alight.

I plucked up the pink journal. I scanned over the outside, remembering how much this little piece of nothing had been through with me though out the years. I admired her, my little rose journal, for a few precious moments before I flipped her open to read the first entry. I cleared my throat, looking over at Sam, and began to read the entry out loud.

“I know my place now, but my place keeps changing. Who I am now changes from who I need to be in order to survive.” I smiled sarcastically at the irony of that statement, the irony that it was here and now and I was reading it first. “I was always thinking that through the school year and I made a necessary change to keep living…” I read the entry all the way though. Once I finished I flipped through the journal until I found and entry that I wanted to read again, to read over.

The next one that came up was What I want Him. I read this one silently to myself. As most of this little rose journal was about so was this one entry about Christopher. I was surprised I could even think his name without having a moment of being mentally unstable. It was about how I had found him and how everything kept getting in the way of us being together and how he was the on that I wanted to stay in love with forever. I kept my cool, reading that entry.

I went though my rose journal, written mostly about and for him. I read every entry that was written in its pages. All 224 pages of memories and of Christopher. Two hours of reading before I closed the journal. As I was reading through I stopped and remembered a lot of different things. Not only about him even though it was mostly but also about the wonderful things that had happened between the two of us. The good, the bad, and the weak. I some how kept my calm. Even when I read the entry when we had gone to his Grandpa’s and I’d spent the day there with him I kept my composure. I read over the proclamation of love he’d made me, how proud that he was that I was his wife, and how every one is always searching for the ONE and I was his ONE I somehow managed to remain blank. It was the hardest thing I’d ever had to live through.

I closed that little journal after reading the 224 pages of agony. I let my fingers glide over the smooth surface in time with my eyes. In its pages contained vital memories that I had written down so that I would never forget them, never to be lost into nothing but wasted dust. The memories that were my life line, memories that shaped and had sown my very soul. Pages filled with the heart and mumblings of a love-sick fool. Pages of beautiful poetry, wisdom to last myself a life time, with his writing, and a life that I had lived so happily. The journal was my key to the life I had once lived, a hand crafted key.

My fingers brushed the pink rose in the center of the journal. I took in every little detail of the way the pink strips ran in the back ground of that journal and they way each light white petals curved and fell around for looks. My heart jumped, trying to pull me down. My fingers twitched nervously as I held the journal loosely in my hands, skimming my thumbs over the surface. I smiled again. I let the surface of the journal slide off my fingers and into the waiting flames below which hungrily consumed my memories. The flames twisted, taking to hell the memories I had relentlessly sought to preserve and the majority of what was left of my soul. I watched the flames eat away the months of constant writing. I let the book burn until there was nothing left, not even the ashes of the past.

I stood and rounded up some more of the wood, building up the mountain that had burned down. I stacked the wood up the same way that I had before and sat down in my lawn chair, sipping on my hot tea that had cooled off in the two hours I’d been reading my journal. Night had arrived. The birds had gone to bed and the owls were rising to greet their morning darkness, hungry for mice skittering about. A breeze caught my hair, cooling off the heat of the fire and kissing my dry cheeks.

The teal folder lay at my feet and my hands came under it, setting it in my lap still closed. I stared at it, a soft smile still on my face. A smile that wasn’t real. A painful need to do something that wouldn’t allow me to burst into tears. As delicately as I could I opened the folder to revel the insides. Inside contained the 2nd part of my soul. I started in on it. I first picked up a small deflated balloon heart. Across the top the heart said “You are simply irresistible” in white outlined letters. Christopher had given it to me as a late Valentines Day present last year. The way the heart blew up was because of a chemical reaction and the way you made it react was by hitting it. I’d been afraid for some reason to hit it. I almost hit the square package it was in several times and I couldn’t do it. Finally, after about 4 tries he hit for me. I’d been so thrilled.

It went next into the hungry flames. The second of the burnings that night. I watched it until there was nothing left, the same way that I had watched my soul burn.

Next I picked up a party invitation that had been to a friend of mines birthday party. It had been Christopher’s very first party. I was proud to have been the one to take him to his first party, something that no one else would ever get to do. Only me. Becca had made me so angry that night when she hit him over the head without just cause. She’d made him jealous too when she was dancing with me around the fire. It was a fun night despite all of that.

I tossed it in, only watching it long enough to catch fire before I moved on in the folder.

Next in my hands was his high school graduation pamphlet. I laughed, opening it. I began skimming through the names but skipping most of them so that I could go and read his name. I burned that pamphlet into my memory. I almost hadn’t gotten to go with him because of my family. They’d been wanting to go to McAlester for the weekend and I almost wasn’t going to make it to the graduation ceremony. I would have never forgiven myself if I hadn’t have been able to be there to see him walk across that floor, diploma in his hands. I planned for weeks to be there. The lunch with his family after words had been nice even though it had been short. He’d looked so good in his robes. Over all, the day had been so well spent.

Into the fire and flames went the pamphlet, sent to the same nonexistence that the journal and invitation had.

The next thing that I got my hands onto was the movie tickets Christopher had given me to hold on to for him. He wanted them when he got back. The first movie that we ever saw together was “Meet the Spartans” on February 1st 2008. The movie that sealed the deal to our future. He had treated me so differently than I had expected, so respectfully that night that I couldn’t help but notice it. If it hadn’t bee for how wonderful his kiss was, how his kiss was like true loves that night, we would have never had a story. That kiss had been so perfect, what I’d been looking for. It sealed up the end of our fate together.

I read through the titles of the movies. The one we had seen on his Birthday. I was thankful that we went to see that instead of going though with what he wanted because that would have caused him more problems in the end for us both. It had been a lot of fun none the less. Each title, each movie, a whole other memory. Every movie something new happened, when I was with him nothing plain or boring ever happen. We were always having fun.

And into the fire they went. One by one I read the titles, from the most recent movie that we had seen together. Each one went. Toss…burn…gone…toss…burn…gone. Until finally “Meet the Spartans” was the last ticket in my hand. I stared at it. The living proof that we had always been together, the official date of our story. I hesitated, considering keeping this one instead of burning it. I knew that if I kept it all of this effort would be completely wasted. It took me a moment of staring the ticket over before I finally let it go too.

I can across the map to the Exotic Animal zoo that his family and I had gone to for his finally fun event before he left for the Army. For some strange reason his grandpa had given it to me. Nick had been a little brat that day. I tossed it, not thinking much of it. At least, not wanting to.

Sam had fallen asleep behind me, unable to understand the weird ways of the human master.

I saved his spiral green note book that said Kyo Sohma on it. That little note book wasn’t mine to destroy. That book was not a part of my past to burn away, it was apart of Christopher’s and he could do whatever he wanted too with it. I would give it back to his mother at a later date. I sat it down, sipping more on my raspberry tea.

I plucked a small piece of torn note pad paper from the folder. All that was on the paper, written in blue ink, was a single quote that I had written. I had wanted to send the quote to him when I was upset but I decided against it. He needed encouraging words, not something that was going to bring him down. Because of that I had never sent it to him. I read over the quote once and snorted. Irony was following me tonight.

I imagined that he was here with me. That he was sitting across from me in his own personal lawn chair with that cold expression on his face that he often wore. I could see the fire reflecting in his eyes, I could see the emotion in his eyes. I could see how he shifted as I burned away my soul, as I chipped away my heart.

“Listen to this Christopher.” I told my imaginative Christopher, who leaned back in his lawn chair while peering at me with discontented blue eyes. “Saying that love lasts forever is like saying one candle will continue to burn forever.” I laughed dryly to myself and threw the paper into the fire dramatically.

“Why are you doing this?” My imaginative Christopher heatedly demanded. I closed my eyes, taking in a deep breath and holding it for a moment before I released it.

“You know why.”

I grabbed the whole stack of letters that I had written him but had never sent them. I read through a few of them, but for the most part my own words to him disinterested me. Most of the letters were hateful as it was. That or they were over emotional. I must have held 40 letters in my hand that had been for him, and each one was a full page to 8 pages. I didn’t take the time to seriously read them, I let the fire have them first. The letters were useless now, my words wouldn’t reach him.

The next thing that I held however, forced me to stop. On yellow lined paper dated August 1st, 2008, was the first original promise that I had written to him. I had called the paper my promise. I read over the promise. Its funny that I had promised to stay with him forever, to always be true to him through the hard times, through the good times, forever. I had written it to remind me that even when things get tough I could pull through and stay with him. Tears finally choked my throat. I was breaking the only promise I had ever wanted to keep, the only one that ever really mattered to me. I wanted to stop what I was doing after reading that promise. But it was all over now. I hugged the paper to my chest, letting the tears I was trying to hold down spill over. My cheeks no longer dry because I didn’t want to betray him. The him that I had made the promise to, the Christopher that I had written it too.

I threw it in, trying not to tremble. I couldn’t keep my hands from shaking.

I took in a deep breath and pulled out what I had always been holding on to. I’d been keeping up with them, holding on to them since we’d been together. Our notes. Written back and forth in Mr. Layman’s class everyday, the notes written at different points, and poems that he had given directly to me and me alone. The essay he had written me was there too, The Most Amazing Woman I’ve Ever Met, the essay over me. That time when that was how he saw me, that all seemed so far away now.

“Karea don’t!” My imaginative Christopher shouted, standing up from his lawn chair. I ignored him. I wished with all my heart that he could really stop me and I wished that he was really sitting across from me, watching me burn my life away. I knew he didn’t care what I did any more.

Christopher had stopped caring about me the way he had when all of the stuff about Jail had gotten in the way. I knew he couldn’t feel the same but I wanted to delude myself into believing that he could love me just a little bit longer. I always knew that he would leave. I’d always known. That night when he almost left me when I was talking to him over the phone at Kamry’s, I knew instantly that he would never forgive me for doing what I had. He couldn’t see me as his Karea anymore. He wasn’t resilient like I was and couldn’t pick himself up. He couldn’t let go of things the way I did and he couldn’t accept my flaws the way that he did. He blamed people for things and he held grudges. He couldn’t.

I read each note, one by one. Burning the words into my memory, knowing that I would one day forget them as it was. And as I read the notes one by one so did I burn them into the fire, one right after the other. With each was a new wound and a fresh memory of a time that I would never get back again. With each note, I was reminded why I wouldn’t fall in love after this. Each note, a sacrifice to my sanity. So when I came to the last two notes after burning the essay, his poems, and my heart, I had trouble fathoming that I was actually going to burn these two. I was trembling still, reading the first lines of the two notes. I had shed so many tears over those two notes in the past year, tears that I couldn’t believe I held back now. I had to force myself to let him fade. For my own sake. I just didn’t want too.

I kissed the note he wrote me to ask me to marry him. It had been a beautiful hope that I was always going to be wrapped around. I asked God to spare me the pain. I asked God to keep me from ever having to go through this again and for God to keep my soul in his hands only. I burned the note. Shaking I let the marriage I had begged for, dreamed of, sweat for, shed tears and blood for, and dreamed of, go. I let that marriage go and along with it the heart that was in the marriage. I didn’t want my proof to fad away. I didn’t want him to become nothing but the dream that I had always feared he would be. I didn’t want it all to vanish. But it was already too late for that.

I took the first note. The note that started it all, the beginning of a story that had fatefully ended in tragedy. The note that allowed for all of the passion and pain Christopher and I had ever experienced in our lives together. The note that started the beginning of the end of something wonderful. The note that proved to me that everything that had happened had been real. Yet at the same time, I knew that this was going to come eventually. I began the cry once again. I read that first note four or five different times, making sure that I remembered every single word that he had written me. And with my heavy heart in tow I placed that note into the monster of red hate. The fire licked the note and I refused to let it go until my finger tips were scorched and burned and almost on fire. A small price to pay for the past that I was savoring.

I had to recover before I sat the folder down. The second part of my soul burned away completely into oblivion. Once I had recovered myself fully I sat the folder down. I would be used for a greater purpose at a later date, hopefully something with a happy ending.

Sam was still asleep, my imaginations was quiet, so I picked up the next folder. The dark green outside calling me to bay. I didn’t want to read what was inside of this folder the way that I had read the notes that we had passed. I took out the envelopes first, along with the paper that contained his Army address, and burned them. They were the first of the present to go. Then I moved on to the actual written letters. Each letter held a short story, an almost unimportant story but a story of ours still. The letters from him, I would always remember them. Maybe not word for word but close enough to word for word that it would seem as if I did remember every miniscule detail. Each letter of his, I cried for. I read them, cried for them, and fed the fire.

I burned his target paper along with the letter that it had come with. I burned away everything that had once meant everything to me, took away all the was left of my thriving fantasy and dragged it through the mud. I killed what was left of my waiting.

“You’re being a fool!” Imaginative Christopher yelped, his eyes dancing with the desire to keep me from doing anything else foolish.

“No I’m not.” I argued weakly.

“Don’t you get it? I love you!” I smirked, looking over at the last letter that I had gotten from him. The one letter that had sent me over the edge and forced me the wake up to what I had been desperately trying to avoid. The last letter.

I decided to read this one out loud.

“Karea, cool down the love stuff on the outside of the letter. Don’t put anymore stuff on it. I’m going to get in trouble. Also, don’t put Patterson I need to keep it on the down low.” I couldn’t help but think to myself how stupid the words looked on the page. “I don’t want to get in trouble with my superiors. UCMJ says that I’ll go to jail just for dating you.” I read the UCMJ and under Article 120 the military legal age was 16, which I am. So he was being afraid of something that could never happen. “so lets tone it down and be cool.” There was nothing cool about it. “Don’t send pictures of what you look like.” Every time I read that the only thought I had was ‘frak you too’. “It will raise questions. Just write as if you were a friend of mine on the outside of the envelope. The letter itself can say whatever it wants. I’m not going to jail, Military Jail.” I wanted to tell him he’d have to get Court Martial first. “Make the envelope look like a friend of mine. Just a plain envelope. Christopher.”

After that letter I wrote him one more and I refused to write him again. I didn’t want to hear from this person who took away my Christopher. He was some one else, a different person. The changes that I had tried to get him to make so he could better himself and me had back fired. Oh had it ever backfired on me. It turned him into the kind of person I normally avoid. It made me sick to my stomach to read the letter, he hadn’t even said the words “I love you” to me. Even when I was upset, I tried to put “I love you” in my letter. I knew he needed my support and I knew that he needed my hand. It didn’t matter what I needed. He was still a child, just a child with a bad attitude.

“You’re stupid Christopher.”

“How am I stupid?”

“Because you didn’t even say I love you.” I whispered.

“Karea this is crazy!”

“Don’t call me Karea! My name is Ayngel!”

I started bawling again. I tore the note to bits and threw it into the fire, burning away the third part of my soul. The Journal, the notes, the letters. Three parts of my soul. The fourth part of my soul I still had.

I went and put a few more logs on the fire before it went out, letting it grow as I sat back down in my lawn chair again. I watched the glowing orange and red with contempt because I wished that I could do with my body what I had done with the letters. Burn it all away. For a moment I thought that I should go get his cloths and burn them too. I decided against it, since they were his cloths and not mine to do away with. They were his. I would take them back to his mother one of these days. Christopher….I wanted him to be happy. I only said one prayer that night against the clouded over sky. “God in heaven please let Christopher forget about me completely so he can move on with his life and find the happiness I couldn’t give him. Please God, tonight this is all I ask. Amen.”

“I never said that I wanted to leave you!” Imaginative Christopher reminded me. “Why the hell did you burn everything?”

“I know you better than anyone else.” I shrugged, thinking that it was obvious. A moment later, I added. “I haven’t burned everything.”

I looked down at my left hand and Imaginative Christopher followed the movement with his eyes. I easily slipped the molten gold ring from my finger. I could see my reflection in the gold band and in the center of the bright ruby. I smiled at the ruby. It was ruby because they didn’t have my birth stone, Garnet. The only part of us that kept me alive when life was getting at its worst. The most important part of mine and Christopher’s relationship. It meant more than just the world. The most perfect piece of jewelry that I had ever gotten the blessing to wear.

“Please don’t.” Imaginative Christopher groaned, placing a hand over his eyes and looking down at the ground while shaking his head.

“Together Forever, Forever Baby Forever.” I whispered into the night air.

And into hell I sent the ring. As the last part of my soul burned away in the flames I sat back and relaxed, looking up at the cloudy sky with tears in my eyes. I had given up everything that had been mine and everything that had made me Karea McDaniel Patterson.

For the second time in my life, I had burned away my love for one who no longer wanted me. For the second and last.

Jiub

Wow, I don't know whether to say sorry or congratulations. But it sounds like you did the right thing.

Sirak Sazen

Everything that we talked about in the PMs are starting to make sense now. I don't exactly understand it and I probably never will. You burned your soul that night. Your past (the journal), your present (the letters), and your future (the notes). Burning the ring tells me that you really don't love him anymore. Maybe he does still love you. This is going to sound corny, but we're all just like the force. We have dark sides and light sides. If you really love somebody, you have to love both sides. Love can truly last forever. There will always be bumps in the road, some larger than others, and I'm shocked that you two have made it this far. Don't let one really big bump destroy everthing that you have worked and loved for.

I might not know what's really happening, but that's my advice.

Dakoth

tl;dr

RainaRose

The thing is, I still love him. With all my heart, with all what was, I still love him. Sirak you're right. The journal, my past. The notes were the present. And the letters were the future. But I want to hope. It killed me. Killed me to get ride of such important things to me. It was almost impossible to do what I did and yet some how I shakily did it. I'm still in shock.

But I need some one who won't be afraid to stand by me. Some one who won't run away even from jail. Especially when thats never gonna happen.

Crozeus

Ask yourself why you did it. That will tell you what to do.

RainaRose

I don't know. Probably out of spite or out of need.

Sirak Sazen

He's a young man and it's natural to be afraid of something like jail.

RainaRose

I got locked up for 12 days just to ease his fears, to protect him. I had the focus thrown off of him and the negitive attention thrown on to me because I am in love with him.

And its not an unreasonable fear. But He refuses to except that its not going to happen, there is no evidence.

Yodafueva me

I'm not going to lie and say I read the whole thing, so can somebody give me the gist of it?

RainaRose

Read the first 3 paragraphs at least. If that doesn't get you intrested in what happened, my fiancee Leon Danex wrote me a really painful letter and I freaked out over it.

Jiub

I would say that even though his fear of prison is not irrational, it isn't just that. If he feels free to ignore her and doesn't even include the word "love" in his letters, then there is a problem. I wouldn't recommend looking too far into everything he does and says (if everyone did that the whole world would go insane in days for no real reason in some cases), but there are certain things that are just not right. She thinks that he is being selfish and has developed some very negative views of him which will be very difficult if not impossible to get entirely past.

I do not know everything about this situation, not even close. I wouldn't call myself an expert on relationships either, but I have had some heartbreaks, and you just can't think of someone the same way again after they do something to you. Now, I could be wrong here as I don't know everything, but that is my opinion.

RainaRose

See if thats the case, then its my own fault. I screwed up, I told his secrets when I shouldn't have and I lied a little about somethings. I came out and was honest with him about it and I haven't done anything sense. He was past all that and then, after I told him to step up, it all back fired. He changed. Not for the better though, not like I thought he would.

He begged me in his letters to trust him, to give into him and that he would take care of me. This whole time. So as soon as I allow myself to trust him, to believe in him, to believe that he WILL take care of me, he crushes me into the ground. If he did it on purpose then I probably deserved it.

Jiub

Is all I know is that he isn't treating you as he should. No matter how it started and who is at fault (to be entirely honest, there is rarely a completely innocent party in an argument) what he has done hurts you badly, and you have more proof that he will do it again than that he won't do it again. Now I don't want to mess anything up if you think that there is a genuine chance that everything could change.

If Leon (Christopher) comes back here and reads this, I hope he forgives me for saying this, but he has some issues to resolve before he can take on the responsibilities of a serious relationship or marriage. I couldn't if I were in that situation either, and a lot of people aren't, but I believe everyone is capable of becoming ready.

Rive Caedo

RainaRose

Maybe you're right Rive.

I love him so much its sick though. I know a lot of you don't understand the situation and I just....want to understand it myself. As you read the letter he sent me (lots of his letters have been like that, thus is why I have not been posting them) and I just don't understand anymore.

Lord Embeion

pmimo

Sirak Sazen

All I can say is that I wish you the best of luck. You always have friends to turn to here.

princessleia

That had to be soo hard for you Raina....you can look at it as going through a milestone in your life and a new door awaits for you to walk through it.... Cool

I am here for you as well...if ya need anything you can
pm me...

RainaRose

I'm in trouble.

Crozeus

RainaRose

Go read the I'm in trouble thread.

princessleia

I read the thread Raina....don't worry you will be fine....hope that you will think before reacting nexttime.... Smile

...I have done similar things so I know what you are going through...now I just think before I react....I say hmm should I do this or that lol....we all make mistakes...

RainaRose

Thats the truth. Think before acting, I'll start doing that. lol.

princessleia

Raina: Yep it helps....saves a lot of energy and grief...you two are a cute couple together....

RainaRose

I guess so. Thank Leia. Girls gotta stick together in a male-dominate fourm. We should start a "circle of girls" and ask Jianna to join us on it. We'd make a reat team!

Jiub

Actually, Jianna isn't here and you can't have a "circle of girls" if there are only two points in that circle. Wink

Xander Vos

Well... it could be a semi-circle. Wink

Rive Caedo

I think the number of points is rather irrelevant when discussing a circle.

I mean, I can make a "circle" out of 30 points and it'd be better defined than a 29 point circle. But at what arbitrary point do you stop calling it a circle?

But anyway, yeah. Raina, Leia, Jianna's non-vindictive side, and the spirits of Abba, Shatterpoint, and Padme (and Saber - uh, I think)? That's starting to get circle... ish Razz

RainaRose

Pfft. Well, either way. A circle of girls is what I'm aiming for. lol.

Xander Vos

RainaRose

...YOUR masculinity?....No no no. Xander your as masculine as lucky charms are delicous.

Jiub

Xander Vos

RainaRose

lol Ok ok bad point seeing as I love lucky charms.

Xander Vos

Hehe, damn straight you do. Wink

RainaRose

Are you hittting on me? Because if you are...

Xander Vos

I thought it was the other way around since you were saying how masculine I was... Razz

Oh, and 777 make a wish.

RainaRose

Well, you couldn't handle my womanly ways any how.

I wish....for....***

Xander Vos

Do I want to know what that asterixed word was...?

And I can handle a lot. Wink

RainaRose

Not me. Most males can't handle me, and Girls are afraid to get involved.

Well, seeing as this is a...um..."family friendly" site no....you don't.

Jiub

Sirak Sazen

Does anybody else notice the obvious flirting going on two posts above me?

Jiub

Well I'm glad to know that I'm no longer the only person around here pointing out the obvious. Razz

Sirak Sazen

I'm breaking down the situation for those with lower mental capabilities.

Xander Vos

RainaRose

lol I love you Sirak. So Xander, flirting....

Oh, do you know who Darth Malak is?

Xander Vos

Yes, completely flirting... Confused

Yep, he was the Sith I was obessed with back when I first joined TDSL.

RainaRose

... ..... ... Really? My X bf Tyler had it on his myspace is why I was asking.

Xander Vos

Yeah, he's the Sith Apprentice of Revan in the KOTOR games. If your X likes Star Wars you should tell him about this place. Very Happy

Lord Vexen

Xander Vos

Ahh yes, Nihilus vs Malak. Razz

Sirak Sazen

Xander Vos

Sirak Sazen

Sorry. I think I'm drooling at the thought.

Xander Vos

At the thought of Dakoth? Confused

Sirak Sazen

Yes, indeed at the thought of Dakoth.

Xander Vos

That's slightly, mildly, horribly disturbing.

Sirak Sazen

No it's not.

Xander Vos

Fair enough.

Lord Vexen

Were the hell did you did up that old picture?

Sirak Sazen

It's saved under my "Sexy" folder.

Jiub

Lord Vexen

Xander Vos

Jiub

Lord Vexen

Yeah, just like I have some of Saber...what?

Xander Vos

Jiub

Yeah, that's what people say about their friends. Until they pack a suitcase full of knives and buy a plane ticket to Sydney. Razz

Sirak Sazen

Xander Vos

Good luck to him. Sydney is the biggest city in Australia. Come find me. Smile

Jiub

That would be more convincing if you lived in New York, and weren't 14.

Xander Vos

14?! 17 more like it.

Sirak Sazen

You obviously didn't read the post in Forum Activities regarding the nature of my true personal life. It's floating around there somewhere.

Jiub

Sirak Sazen

All the better for me. On a side note, what's your address? Smile

Xander Vos

123 Kangaroo Street, Koala, Sydney.

Jiub

Lord Lanik

Xander Vos

Yodafueva me

Everybody take a quick gander at the forum activities latest post.

Dec 31, 1969...

Xander Vos

Rive is 40?! :O

Jiub

Xander Vos

Neither. I assumed it referred to Rive though...

Sirak Sazen

Xander Vos

SHOOT! Was meant to give out the FAKE address. Embarassed

Yodafueva me

Wrong on all accounts^ For some reason, the Forum Activities last post was listed as: Dec 31, 1969....

Xander Vos

Oh, I see. How odd. I don't think the interwebs, much less SW was around then. Wink

RainaRose

....That was wayyyy off topic. ><

Sirak Sazen

Xander Vos

RainaRose

Well, considering everyone was posting at random with random stuff yeah I guess so. Still trying to reach the 250 post count?

Jiub

Sometimes one thing leads to another and that is how threads get off topic, but some things there should have just gone in the chat thread.

RainaRose

Yup thats the truth.

Xander Vos

RainaRose

XD never mind then.

Xander Vos

Rightio... I tried to figure out what you meant and couldn't find anything close to 250 posts. Razz

RainaRose

lol oh forget it. You post too much. I want to out post you. Grr.

Sirak Sazen

Jiub